That may just be it, but who knows. (I long for the days when I was *SO* sure of everything in the world... ah, the golden all-knowing time of adolescence...) It's not so much that I've been down and troubled, ala James Taylor, it's more that I've been unsure of what I've wanted to write here or how much personal crapola I've wanted to share. I'm aware of my very modest number of readers (and I'm aware that just because one clicks the "follow" button, actual reading of the blog isn't necessarily happening... I'm guilty of that myself), but even I have come to a point where the letters TMI actually apply, which is a relatively new experience for me, what with my usual wide parameters of comfort. There are some personal things going on that I'm thinking should be off-limits to all but my closest friends (no offense meant to any loyal readers who may be out there, except of course, to my crazy stalker in-law).
Added to the mix is my most recent attempt to write about frustration with my least favorite four letter combo in the world. While I feel that I have a legitimate perspective in my role as a person living with the effects of ADHD in the household, I found myself in the middle of a post beginning to wonder if I had the right to publicly say the things that I wanted to say. I may be one of the people cleaning up the messes of the aftermath of emotions gone awry, but I'm not the one actually having the emotional overloads, and it's not my difficulty with self-control that's the topic of the post. While Red and Pudge's fits/outbursts/conflicts/other-daily-occurrences can simply be chalked up to the fact that they're at the oh-so-lovely ages of 2 and 3, there's probably not the same kind of shaking head and wry smiling happening on the other side of the Internets if I write about the regular challenges we experience with JAM. I believe I'm coming to the decision that his right to some privacy about his most personal difficulties outweighs my right to vent about my parenting frustrations.
With these issues on the official do-not-blog list, added to my wish to make this a more positive place, the inevitable result seems to have been a nonexistent presence in blogland. I enjoy the guffaws. I adore proclaiming my love for NPR. I feel completely at home sharing in the 5M4B book lovers community. BUT, I don't want that to be the extent of my little space on the web. My goal from the beginning has been to simply be able to write what I was thinking about- good, bad, and ugly. When that becomes more challenging, I'm not sure about the solution. But when life gives me a few moments to contemplate it, I'll be here.
Just call out my name,
It is tricky! I have gotten in "trouble" from my nearly-9-year-old just for including his name in a FB update or picture upload. Some things he's ok with me sharing, other things not so much (even if they are not in any way negative).
ReplyDeleteAnd please do know that while some blog readers may not "get" it when you write about struggles in the ADHD arena- others of us do and truly, truly appreciate that we are not alone in it. I went to an CHADD parenting class this fall-- and we parents could have spent the whole 9 weeks just talking about our challenges and I know personally I was near tears just realizing that others deal with the same sorts of things.
Hugs!
It's a really fine line to walk. I had a personal blog in which I blogged about a lot of issue that were going on in my life with my family after my Dad died. It really helps to vent especially with what you are going through. My BF has a son with ADHD who has just turned 18 and whilst they still have their challenges for the most part she can now breath a sigh of relief. I think that sharing with faceless people helps because you know they are not going to judge your child because you are struggling.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, all I wanted to tell you is that after things settled down with my family and I went back through my blog and deleted any posts that could have upset them in any way if they were to ever read my blog (which they don't but I wanted to be sure). But I also know that the personal things I blogged about have helped many other people deal with their struggles in their own families. It helps to share, but it doesn't just help you. You just never know who your words will reach out to, lots of people read but don't comment!
Hey, if you need to talk about anything non-bloggable, you know where to find me.
ReplyDeleteI feel for ya. There are certain things I put out there (but again - relatively anonymously) that Mister Man might not love if he were older and I were saying them... but again, I fully expect to be in an entirely different place when he's older. Fingers crossed that your path and his become smoother!
ReplyDeleteI'm catching up obviously, but I wanted to tell you that I think that you do wear your heart on your sleeve a bit, but I think that you use discretion and don't cross that line into TMI in general.
ReplyDeleteHang in there.